Novelist. Author of APSARAS and tales from the beautiful Saigh Valley. First person to quantify spiritual values.

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Saturday 5 June 2010

In Praise of Bidets

Although a visit to our home country is enjoyable, it is  always nice to get home after a trip to England. For my
wife and home one of the nicest things is to return to is our 'en suite' bidet.
Why is it that people in the UK are so resistant to using a bidet and builders do not as a rule include them in
modern bathroom furnishings in new builds. A friend of mine still insists on using it for his feet only.
Let's not mince words here. One cannot clean one of the most delicate parts of the body without water; paper simply will not do. If you wash, it is done in a bath or shower using water and soap. Why then do the Brits insist that cleaning the dirtiest part of the body with paper. Residue must persist. You wouldn't walk round with shit on your elbow. Why go around with shit on your sphincter and surrounding area? PAPER DOES NOT CLEAN! Water does. In countries thought of as third world, water through a hose is used. Paper isn't used at all. So much better for the water treatment plants.
If, like us, you are used to cleaning around the anus after defecation, achieving satisfactory cleanliness whilst
out and about can be a nightmare. Normally I have to strip of to the waste and stand under a shower, impossible to do in a public loo. Here one is reduced to soaking tissues in a sink beforehand. How much easier to use a hose as they do in Thailand, say.
Wake up Britain. Wash properly and reduce paper consumption. Don't leave shit on your body. Install a bidet.

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