Novelist. Author of APSARAS and tales from the beautiful Saigh Valley. First person to quantify spiritual values.

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Saturday 15 June 2019

No show Bo-Jo

Reporter: Mr Johnson. Mr Johnson, did to ever snort cocaine?

Bo-Jo:  Mind your own fucking business.

Reporter: But don't the British people deserve to know?

Bo-Jo: What bloody business is it of theirs if I did or did not. We all do things when we were younger; it would be weird if we did not. What is important is whether I can fulfill the role of Prime Minister and I'm here to tell you I can and will.

Reporter: Mr Johnson why don't you speak to us?

Bo-jo. Because you don't ask sensible questions. All you want to do is ask prurient questions regarding my habits and proclivities; headline grabbing nonsense that says more about you or your reader's inadequacies. and yes, before you ask, I did masturbate as a teenager, I lusted after women; yes, that's right, women, not men, and I drank. often to excess. In other words, I'm normal except that I am blessed with the ability to win elections. Now bugger off the lot of you.

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